


Still

by peachsoul



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, M/M, but only some because for sure i cant handle anything being sad, oh my goshh, they're like soulmates if anyone is guessing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 15:52:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12192972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsoul/pseuds/peachsoul
Summary: Then there’s the Nico he remembers from the 2 days before everything went to hell. The Nico that kissed him so soft and so sure in the bathroom in some random house, at some random party that was playing the shittiest music ever. He remembers his shaking hands, and Nico grabbing onto them, anchoring him to earth. He remembers every nerve-ending in his body coming to life just for Nico, and he reme-So, yeah, he really remembers Nico.or, Nolan literally runs into Nico and he falls in love all over again.





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with another super self indulgent piece. I haven't been feeling too good mentally so I thought some fluff would help.  
> There's no real warning for this fic but just Nolan talks about some mental health issues, nothing too specific but it's still in there, so if that that makes you uncomfortable than maybe skip out on this one.  
> Also I listened to Still by The Japanese House on repeat while writing this, hence the title.
> 
> If you googled yourself and found this, than like lmao, for sure exit out. Gracias.

It was so  _ fucking  _ cold and Nolan was going to murder Kailer and maybe only feel a little bad for Cody.   
  
Running through the quad with a stupid calculus book, that wasn’t even his, Nolan wants to point out, stuffed tightly under his rain coat while the sky opens up overhead, rain pelting him harshly as he sprints along the sidewalks to the library, was not exactly how Nolan wanted to spend his Friday afternoon.   
  
Except, Kailer was the worst roommate ever, who always chose to ignore Nolan for whatever reason. Nolan is sure he does it just to have something to say that will make Cody laugh.   
  
"You're for sure gonna regret not taking your books with you. It's not exactly a light stroll from Glasser’s dorm to ours."    
  
And  _ God _ , Nolan had watched in mild fascination from the corner of his eye as Kailer had flushed from his cheeks, all the way down to his neck, quickly stuffing a hoodie into his backpack that was already way too full.   
  
"I already told you, I'm not going to Cody's dorm. I'm going to be in the library. I need...some different books that I don’t have here." Kailer said while simultaneously grabbing his phone charger and one of the cereal bars that neither have them have literally ever touched, but Nolan never missed the way Cody lights up and picks one up when he sees them above the microwave whenever he comes to visit them, which huh.   
  
"Oh yeah? You making a habit of bringing a change of clothes to the library now?" Nolan turns around in his desk chair, looking away from the 10 page paper that was pulled up on his laptop screen, he wasn't even halfway finished, he made a mental note not to mention that to his mom when he called her later.   
  
"Shut up...Its supposed to rain later today. I just want to be prepared.” Kailer mumbled, completely ignoring the pointed look Nolan was throwing at him.     
  


And there it was again, the blush, and the quick shuffling as Kailer zipped up his backpack, turning to give Nolan a perfectly rehearsed bored look. 

 

“You should maybe worry more about your 10 page paper that’s due in, Oh, look at that, 6 hours.” Kailer winked at Nolan as he made his way towards the door, grabbing his keys off of Nolan’s desk as he passed by.

 

“Being in love makes you an ass.” Nolan shouted at the closed door, rolling his eyes as he heard Kailer’s chuckle fade as he made his way down the hallway.

 

Not even an hour after Kailer left the dorm had Nolan gotten a phone call from said boy who had mumbled his way through asking Nolan if he could maybe, perhaps, if possible, bring him his calculus textbook that was laying on his messy desk, all while Nolan could clearly hear Cody giggling in the background.

 

So yeah, Nolan was going to kill Kailer the second he saw him, dry and absolutely not freezing his nuts off.   
  
Nolan is thinking of all the ways he's going to guilt trip Kailer and Cody into buying him lunch at that expensive ramen place near downtown, when suddenly, he's colliding into something at a high enough speed that it sends Kailer's book flying from underneath his zipped up jacket and sends Nolan to the ground, landing hard on his back. Nolan grimaces at the water seeping into his clothes immediately.    
  
The rain is really coming down, so it takes Nolan a good 5 seconds to realize that that   _ something _ , was actually a  _ someone _ .   
  
"Holy shi-" Nolan begins to say, quickly scrambling to his feet, ignoring the book that is completely drenched, in favor of helping the person he just basically tackled. 

 

Whatever, Kailer deserves a little karma.   
  
"It's okay, didn't think anyone would be out here in this rain, should have been paying a little more attention." says the stranger as he accepts Nolan's hand. A very attractive stranger, Nolan's brain points out for him.    
  
"No, dude it's my fault...Not the best idea to be running like a maniac in the middle of a hurricane." Nolan watches through squinted eyes as the boy laughs. Nolan can see water droplets collecting on and clumping his eyelashes together, his hair is turning a few shades darker as the rain continues to pelt his head. He's  _ pretty _ .     
  
Nolan is immediately charmed when the boy makes a small, pained noise when he turns to see the book, looking pathetic as ever in the grass of the quad, soaked beyond belief. The boy doesn't look back at Nolan as he crouches next to the book, grabbing it and holding them close to his chest, covering it from the unforgiving rain.   
  
Taking a second to survey the situation around him, Nolan sees the blue umbrella lying helplessly in a puddle a few feet away from him. The cute stranger must of let it go when Nolan collided into him. 

 

Quickly grabbing the plastic handle and shaking the mud off as best as he can, Nolan shuffles over to the boy, who's still crouched on the sidewalk, surveying the damage on the book that isn’t even his, while there's lightning lighting up the sky.   
  
_ He's so pretty _ .   
  
Nolan chuckles to himself and holds the umbrella over the boy, stopping the rain from hitting his skin any longer. Even through the rain, Nolan can see how red his skin is.   
  
"You don't have to worry about the book, it’s not even mine. It’s my roommates and he's kind of an ass, so he kind of deserves this. "    
  
Nolan is shouting over the rain, he's wondering how insane they look just having a conversation in the middle of the thunderstorm. 

 

He's only wearing a jacket with the hood pulled up, his jeans completely soaked through, and the cute stranger isn't looking much better, but he's cute, so it works for him.    
  
Belatedly, Nolan reminds himself this is not the time.    
  
"Were you headed to the library?” 

 

It takes Nolan a second to answer the question because before he knows it, the boy is taking the umbrella from his hand, they’re fingers brushing, and grabbing onto one of Nolan’s jacket sleeves, pulling him under the umbrella too.

 

Nolan can smell the faint scent of peppermint as the boy lets out a sigh.

 

_ Oh no _ .

 

“Uh..yeah? Yeah, my roommate forgot his books in our dorm...so I’m bringing them to him.” 

 

Nolan opens his arms for the boy to place the soaking wet book in, grimacing as he sees the neon pink post it notes that Kalier put in there, tearing and falling apart.  

 

“Wow, you’re a good roommate. I would never do this for anyone probably.” Nolan laughs, which brings him closer to the stranger who is just openly staring at Nolan’s mouth.

 

Nolan clears his throat and pushes back the soaking wet hair that’s completely plastered to his face.

  
“I’m Nolan, by the way.”

 

The stranger smirks and nods, taking a quick glance around them while chuckling.

 

“What? What’s funny?” Nolan asks, his brows furrowing.

 

“I know who you are Nolan, but I guess I didn’t make enough of an impression on you for you to remember me.” 

 

The stranger jerks his thumb in the direction of the library, laughing and tugging on Nolan’s sleeve again to keep him under the umbrella as he starts walking.

 

And  _ what _ .

 

“Wait, wait, wait….what do to mean you know me? Do we have a class together?” Nolan runs through his schedule, trying to catalogue the handsome stranger to anybody that he has in any of his classes. There’s no way he would be able to forget someone that looked like this.

 

It’s only when the boy turns to Nolan, soft smile on his face, eyes glistening with amusement, does he remember the boy like a smack to the face.

 

“Nico, from my Speech class, first semester of freshman year, right?”

 

And Nolan is a dumbass because, yeah, he remembers Nico very well.   

 

He especially remembers getting  _ so  _ high at one of Matt Strome’s parties the fourth week of classes, that he ended up waxing poetic about how Nico was  _ so _ fucking smart, and all around amazing, and how he would probably want the best for Nolan.

 

Hungover out of his mind and going through the snaps the boys had sent him of himself on the verge of tears while trying to explain to all of them that he was scared he was in love, was a special kind of hell.

 

And then he remembers how badly everything went downhill the moment Nico sat next to him the first day of classes, always so kind as to stifle his laughter into his shoulder everytime Nolan would bump his knee on the small desk, knocking his pencil over every single time.

 

Nolan remembers the Nico that he spilled his guts to on accident during a late night study session they had in Nico’s dorm room while his roommate was at a party. Nico had held his hand as Nolan sobbed embarrassingly loud because his brain was getting dark again and all he could think about was how he was always disappointing someone. Nico clinged onto him even after Nolan had taken a grounding breath, whispering just how amazing he thought Nolan was into the quiet spaces of the room. 

 

Then there’s the Nico he remembers from the 2 days before everything went to hell. The Nico that kissed him so soft and so sure in the bathroom in some random house, at some random party that was playing the shittiest music ever. He remembers his shaking hands, and Nico grabbing onto them, anchoring him to earth. He remembers every nerve ending in his body coming to life just for Nico, and he reme-

So, he really remembers Nico.   
  


“Well, I’m glad to know I didn’t completely fall off your radar.” Nico says, and Nolan notices his grip on the umbrella loosen up a bit, and maybe he imagines it, but Nico lets out a small breath. 

 

“Hey, you saved my life in that class while I was there, of course I remember you.” 

 

Nolan crowds in closer next to Nico under the umbrella, he can still feel some rain dripping onto his back, but also, Nico smells stupidly nice, like soap and the laundry detergent his mom uses, and Nolan is only human after all.

 

“Yeah...you never showed up again? Did something happen?” 

 

Nolan freezes for a second and Nico must notice his reaction immediately because he looks up at Nolan with a mix of confusion and a small amount of concern. 

 

Well, Nolan really can’t do this in the middle of a thunderstorm while holding Kailer’s soaking wet calculus book.

 

“Um...you should come into the library with me. I-I mean, I’m not sure where you were headed to before I tackled you, but we can go back to my dorm after I drop these books off and I can give you some spare clothes, so that you’re like not soaking wet. Only if you want to that is. You can, like, leave if you want to, whatever you want.”

 

Nolan curses his rambling as they make there way up the stairs of the library, Nico shuffling closer next to him, eyebrows furrowed deeply. 

 

And, Nolan really just doesn’t want Nico to call him out on his bullshit way of evading his question. Not here, not now. 

 

“Okay, yeah, better than freezing the whole 30 minutes back to my dorm.” Nico gently elbows Nolan in the ribs and puts the umbrella away as they step into the library lobby. 

 

Nolan wants to run his fingers through Nico’s hair so bad, but it’s neither the time nor place for this. He’s on a mission to find, and kick Kailer’s ass.

 

Nolan is completely trying to ignore the countless looks they’re getting from students studying. Nico’s laugh progressively getting louder as Nolan huffs every time his soaking wet sneakers squeak on the dingy linoleum floor.

 

“Nolan, over here!” 

 

Whipping his head around so fast, Nolan curses under his breath as he passes by tables of students glaring at him, stomping his way over to Kailer and Cody. Squeaky floors be dammed. 

 

“What did I say about bringing your book with you, you complete shitstick.” Nolan yell-whispers as he slams the book down at a cowering Kailer. He waves quickly at Cody, who is completely ignoring him, looking over his shoulder instead. 

 

“Oh, hey Nico. What are you doing here man, and why are you...soaking wet?” Cody smiles brightly at Nico, looking at Nolan suspiciously from the corner of his eye.

 

Which, Cody can shut up.

 

“You two know each other?” Nolan rolls his eyes and ignores Kailer who's looking at the wet book with disgust, in favor of looking between Nico and Cody.

 

“Yeah we have biomed together, Nico helped me ace that vocab quiz I was losing my shit over. I didn’t know you two knew each other, either. Neither of you ever mentioned it.” 

 

It’s then that Kailer catches up with what’s going on, and who is in front of them, and Nolan wants the world to swallow him whole when Kailer makes a small gasping noise and then turns to Nolan with wide eyes.

 

“Dude, what?” Cody ask, a concerned look on his face.

 

Kailer tries to hold onto Nolan’s gaze. Nolan is making it his mission to avoid Kailer’s piercing stare, running his fingers through the water droplets the book is leaving on the table instead.

 

“Uh, nothing. Nolan I need help reaching a book, come help me, like, right now. You can also explain to me what the hell you did to my book, while we're at it.”

 

Nolan sighs softly, shrugging at Nico who has decided to take a seat across from Cody. 

 

“Go. We can go back to your dorm after. I have to ask Cody about what I missed in class on friday anyways.” Nico smiles at him all soft and gooey, and Nolan is going to suffocate in this gross library, where someone would probably yell at him for dying. 

 

And suddenly Kailer is grabbing onto the hood of his jacket and pulling him towards the history section.

 

“Explain, now.” Kailer whispers when they finally find an empty aisle. 

 

“I just ran into him, literally. I don’t know. It’s not a big deal Kailer…” Nolan leans against the bookshelf casually, which is quite literally the opposite of what he feels right now. 

 

“Nolan…” Looking at him with those stupidly concerned eyes that Nolan had nightmare about, Kailer shoves Nolan’s arm gently, more of a caress, than a shove. 

 

“It’s fine.  _ I’m _ fine. We don’t have to make this a big deal.” 

 

“Are you sure? Because from what I remember, it was a pretty big fuck-”

 

“Kailer.” Nolan practically shouts, he knows his face is doing this weird cringey thing, but he can’t do this. He can’t have this talk again.

 

“Sorry, sorry. I just worry about you man, even now.” Kailer looks at a spot somewhere over Nolan’s shoulder, face flushed.

 

“I know...I know, and thank you, you’re a good friend, but it’s nothing. Really.” Nolan shuffles over next to Kailer, bumping their shoulder together.

 

“What was that he said about going back to the dorm?” 

 

Nolan takes a deep breath and lets his head rest on the books behind him. The lights overhead are too bright and too harsh, and suddenly, Nolan just wants to sleep.

 

“He’s just borrowing some clothes. I ran him over on my way over, and his dorm is 30 minutes away...so, yeah.” Kailer sighs and lets his head hang forward, a chuckle rising high in his chest.

 

“Is that what happened to my calc book?” 

 

Shoving Kailer forward, Nolan lets out a shuddery breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

 

“Listen...I’m not gonna be your mom here, but, just be careful. I know he, um, means a lot.” Kailer doesn’t look Nolan in the eyes as see the last part, pretending to be fascinated with a book about John F. Kennedy instead. 

 

“Don’t worry, mom. I got it under control.” 

 

They shove each other as they make their way back to the table. Nolan finds himself staring as he sees Nico laugh at something that Cody said, his heart stuttering enough for him to notice.

 

“Last time I’ll bring this up,promise, but you gonna do something about that?” Kailer ask, not with concern or worry etched into his voice, but with a smirk on his face.

 

Nolan is forever grateful for him sometimes. 

 

“I don’t know, are  _ you _ going to do anything about  _ that _ ?”

 

Nolan watches as Kailer’s face melts into a horrified look, his steps slowing just a fraction as he watches Cody pull on the hoodie that he packed in his backpack.

 

Kailer makes a high whining pitch high in his throat, someone shushes him from a table nearby and all Nolan can do is cover his mouth to smother a laugh.

 

Nico and Nolan leave the library pretty quickly, Nico complaining that every piece of clothing had molded to his body at that point. Nolan ignores the wink Kailer sends him.

 

They talk as they make their way across the quad, the rain has stopped but it’s still pretty chilly, so Nolan stays close to Nico.

 

Nico goes quiet as they’re walking across the grassy part of the quad. Nolan can sense a tension that wasn’t there a few seconds ago when they were laughing at the fact that Nolan still had a 10 page paper due in 3 hours.

 

“Is something wrong?” Nolan bites the bullet and asks because Nico is getting fidgety and Nolan can feel it everytime Nico reaches up to brush a strand of hair behind his ear.

 

“Where did you go last year Nolan?”

 

Nolan hates the way that his stomach feel bottomless, and the way his bones immediately go cold. He doesn’t know what to do but stare ahead and try to remember how to breathe.

 

Nico must notice the fear that Nolan was trying so hard to conceal because then he’s shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets. Looking up at Nolan with these big concerned brown eyes that make Nolan’s stomach twist sickeningly. 

 

He hates all of this.

 

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I don’t have a place to ask you that question. Just forget I said anything.” Nico rushes out in one whole breath.

 

And then, it’s silent.

 

It’s silent as they make there way across the parking lot to Nolan’s dorm. It’s quiet as Nolan passes one of his friends from his History class that greets him with a loud holler.

 

It’s quiet until Nolan feels like he’s going to throw up if he see’s Nico grimace one more time.

 

“My head gets really loud sometimes.” is what Nolan decides to say instead of literally anything else that would make sense.

 

Nico looks at Nolan wearily, but not like he’s disgusted, but like he’s scared of what Nolan is about to tell him.

 

Nolan doesn’t know what he look he hates more at this point. 

 

“Nolan...you really don’t have to. I shouldn’t have as-”   
  


Nolan stops him by putting his hand up to his mouth. He tries hard to cover the shiver that runs through him when he feels Nico’s warm breath on his cold palm.

 

“It’s okay. Uh, I wasn’t okay when we met in that speech class. My brain has always gotten weird and it has always scared me, but it used to be easier to manage, until that year. Things just got really bad, really fast.” Nolan looks away from Nico’s eyes that are looking like they know more and more of what Nolan is about to confess. 

 

But Nolan has to power through this. 

 

“Nothing triggers it, there’s no warning signs for it….I just get into really dark moods that I can’t get out of and it feels like I’m suffocating in my own body with no way out. This one specifically...was so bad. I thought I was dying.”

 

It wasn’t funny at the moment, but Nolan can let out a chuckle now thinking about the moment he had ripped the covers off of Kailer at 3:34 in the morning because he was so scared of himself that he felt sick with it.

 

Nico is staring at him with an unreadable expression. Nolan can feel Nico’s cold fingertips touching his own. He can feel little jolts of something where their fingers touch. 

 

It gives Nolan the strength to say what he’s about to say.

 

“I’m not sure if we’re talking about this, but, you were the one good thing before all the bad. The kiss, I mean...and just you in general.” 

 

Nolan marvels in the way Nico’s face flushes at his words. 

 

Not sure if he made a mistake by saying that, Nolan clears his throat and tries to take a small step back, jesus, they’re in the middle of a parking lot with damp clothes. 

 

He doesn’t get very far because then Nico is twining their fingers together and pulling Nolan closer, urging him to continue.

 

Nolan is so screwed.

 

“I had to go back home two days after the party...where…we kissed. My head was so messed up and I couldn’t do anything. Could barely remind myself I needed to eat, let alone go to class and study, so, my parents came to get me. I was out of school for the rest of the year.” 

 

Nico hums thoughtfully, playing mindlessly with the drawstrings of Nolan’s jacket.

 

“I was worried about you the entire year. And i was worried that you had run away from me after I kissed you.” Nico looks up at Nolan through his eyelashes, expression displaying a small sense of hurt, and it hits Nolan like a punch in the gut.

 

“No, God no I could never run away from you. so sat back at home,miserable, because I had no way of telling you that I was basically in love with you. Kailer and Cody kept texting me and telling me that you were going to hate me. You were the good Nico.” 

 

Nolan doesn’t realize what he saying until Nico is staring at him with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape.

 

He’s everything Nolan wish he deserved.

 

“Love, huh?” Nico smiles softly, a hint of amusement in his voice, but also something else, like hope.

 

“Uh, yeah? You cared about me.” 

 

Nolan says it so simply now when he couldn’t even stomach the feeling 2 years ago when the idea of being in love with anyone kept him awake at night. He tries hard to ignore the gnawing feeling in the back of his head telling him to  _ stop it _ , and  _ to turn back _ , and that _ there’s nothing but danger ahead _ . 

 

But, he ignores all of this because Nico is adjusting his grip on Nolan’s hand to hold it more firmly, and his hand is so warm and fits perfectly in Nolan’s, and he’s pulling him toward the dorms.

 

“Come on, you owe me some dry clothes.” 

 

Nolan rambles off his floor and room number to Nico and he lets his mind wander as he looks at their intertwined fingers.

 

And, yeah, Nico is just as perfect as he was the day Nolan first saw him walk into their 8AM speech lecture, with the brightest smile in the world.

 

Nico makes grabby hands with the free hand that he has, poking at Nolan to give him the key to the dorm. 

 

Never letting go of Nolan’s hand.

 

They move around in a comfortable silence once they enter the dorm and the doors closes behind them.

 

Nolan points towards his closet and tells Nico to grab whatever he wants.

 

Nico grabs a hoodie (predictable), and some sweatpants (they’re going to fit way to big on him), and walks into the bathroom, throwing Nolan one last smile as he closes the door.

 

And then Nolan really, really thinks about it as he hears the sink faucet turn on, Nico softly humming some random song that Nolan can’t quite place.   
  
Nolan hadn't been looking for this, he takes it as some sort of sign from the universe. 

 

He remembers the talk his parents had given him before he left for school again after everything had gone down. He remembers the way his father clamped his hand down gently on his shoulder, smiling like he was proud but also weary.   
  
"We want you to figure out who you are in every way possible, but we also don't want you to be reckless and get yourself hurt Nolan." his father had said sternly, looking over his shoulder at Nolan's mom, who was watching them from over the kitchen counter. Her eyes had been permanently rimmed red from all the crying she had been doing. Nolan hadn't thought he looked any better.   
  
He thought about how Kailer warned him not to jump into anything, because occasionally Kailer did care about him and his well being.    
  
"Don't just go for the first guy that offers himself, you're more of a romance guy...not a hit it and quit it." Kailer had said while he was watching Cody walk into the cafeteria, and Nolan had never forgotten Kailer's words and the way his eyes lit up as Cody walked towards them, headed straight towards the empty seat next to Kailer.    
  
And as Nolan sits on his bed, looking around at the messy dorm room, his eyes catch on the countless of pictures of himself, Kailer, and Cody scattered throughout the dorm.   
  
There's a specific photo sitting neatly on Kailer's desk, actually, it's the only neat thing among Kailer's garbage can of a desk. 

 

It’s a photo of just Kailer and Cody from when they went to Toronto for the summer for no other reason than because they were dumb, and in love, even if neither of them wanted to admit it.

 

Kailer is on Cody’s back in the photo. Cody mid laugh with his head thrown back, fitting into the crook of Kailer’s neck, who is looking down at Cody like he hung the moon in his sky. 

 

Nolan had never seen either of them so happy.

 

And that was love, and maybe, just maybe, It didn’t have to be so fucking terrifying.

 

Nico steps out of the bathroom just then, wearing Nolan’s hoodie that’s just a tad too big in the shoulders, and some of Nolan’s old sweatpants that have his hold hockey number on the side. 

 

He looks like everything Nolan is afraid of having for himself.

 

And Nico must notice the look in his eyes, or maybe it’s the tremble in his fingers that he notices first, but either way, Nico makes his way over to Nolan.

 

Before Nolan can process Nico’s movements, he’s kissing him softly on the cheek. So light and quick that Nolan doesn’t even have time to register what just happened before Nico is bumping their foreheads together.

 

“Hey, Nolan, it's okay to think out loud. I’m not running away, ever.” 

 

And yeah, Nico isn’t ready to hear the things that run through his head, but in that moment he feels safe. 

 

So, Nolan leans in to kiss him anyways, and Nico kisses back so sweet and so sure and for once Nolan forgets that there was ever a darkness surrounding him.

 

It’s never been quieter in his head. 

 

The darkness and emptiness unclenches its grip from around his throat, and all that’s left is just  _ Nico, Nico, Nico.  _

 

All the fear, and exhaustion ,and worry is replaced with the taste of peppermint, and the feeling of Nico’s warm hands cradling his face, yet again anchoring him to the earth. 

 

Reminding him that he is here and he is okay, and Nico is  _ kissing _ him again.

 

Nico pulls away, chuckling as Nolan lets out a small whimper, chasing after his lips.

 

“You have a paper due in an 2 hours.” Nico reminds him, peppering kisses all over his face, Nolan grips onto the front of Nico’s hoodie, afraid to let go. 

 

And yeah, he does have a paper due in 2 hours that he is going to have to pull out of his ass, and yeah the darkness will return and the exhaustion still have a grip on his heart more often than not.

 

But, there’s also Nico.

 

Nolan has to remember, he also has Nico. And Nico still thinks he’s smart ,and important, and worth caring about. 

 

He makes Nolan want to believe that he’s worth it too. 

 

And that, is more than enough for now.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha I hoped that you liked this and that it made even a little bit of sense. I'm now going to go back into hibernation, writing this, for some reason, knocked the wind out of me.
> 
> Well anyways, hope someone out there enjoyed it!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ sventeens if you'd like~~~~


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